Shut up or Break away?

this past few weeks, I dont feel happy... I felt strangled.. I literally choking...

I taught that I supposed to be happy and but i just dont feel right.. i felt like something stuck in my heart and i felt like someone stab me in the gut..

I tried to please others by trying to act "like they told me" and trying my best to adapt...

But inside i felt like screaming... This is not me, I don't feel happy..

i feel sloppy.. I feel like im down grading my self.. I feel like i have no say in anything i wear and how i supposed to act and what to say..

basically, i drowning..

is this just a phase?

will i be able to be normal again?

will i ever be me again?

Am i not grateful?

Should I just break free and accept the consequence and please my heart?

or should I suffer in silence, and be 'so called' secure?